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Journal Entry, 20010424
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spacer Well, I was looking over the web site today and noticed that it had been quite a while since I added a new journal entry. Seems like it was about time, so here it is.

My divorce has been final for about a year now. I and the kids are doing pretty well. I'm just about out from under a rather large cloud of funk I had been living under. The kids seem to have adjusted pretty well. I came up as the custodial father, the Ex just gets visitation. That and 2/3'rds of my retirement account.

The Ex seems to still be in love with her S.O. They are still getting visitation with my kids every other weekend (as is Oklahoma standard visitation). She seems to have fallen away from religion in general and continues to be in need of prayers. They have a double wide mobile home in north east Oklahoma.

I have a new job working for CMS Technetronics, Inc. after working for Esker Inc. for about three years. I am the web site, network, and server administrator for them (you can check out my work experience here, if you care). I am really enjoying myself here and think this might well develop into a long term employment.

My kids are starting to form their own web site pages, as can be seen from our family page.

Emotionally, things are much easier to deal with today. Don't get me wrong, it still hurts to see my Ex and her S.O. exchange signs of affection in front of our kids. It still gives me things to write about, both here on my web site and in my paper journals. I continue to wonder why she didn't tell me more of what was going on prior to our marriage. Communication between myself and my Ex is minimal, to say the least, and that is probably the way it should be at this point.

As soon as I was allowed to, I filed for annulment of our marriage. When asked about it, I've replied:

I am through with her. I do not have any expectation, nor do I have any indication from her, that there is or ever will be anything more to the relationship between us. I am proceeding with the annulment NOW so that I can hopefully draw to a close all of the painful thoughts with respect to our past tense marriage NOW rather than poisoning any future relationship. Think of it. If I delayed this, found a new "Mrs. Right", THEN tried to go through the annulment, I would be trying to find people who are even more lost in time than now (13+ years is hard enough), talking them into participating, dredging up all these painful memories while trying to express love to the new person at the same time. This just reeks of disaster to me.

In short, it just seems the thing to do. Further, as I filled out all of the paper work involved with the annulment, further grieving was allowed to work it's way out. As such, it has become a further bit of healing for me. I cannot speak to the general case for all divorced people, but this has been a good thing for me, even if I am not granted my annulment.

My car was totaled after a wreck that turned out to be the other driver's fault. Hence, I am looking for a new car now. I think this will be the summer that I finally get the house resided. I have many fine yards of concrete to run to finish out the ole' home stead.

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