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Journal Entry, 20001205
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spacer GAH, I'm still married.

Saw an episode of ABC's "Once and Again" tonight. The main couple of "ex'es" on the show (Rick and WIFE) were in a counselor's office discussing their own emotional status with respect to their daughter's eating disorder.

For what we, the viewers, have seen, this is the first time that Rick has ever really "spoke his mind" to WIFE and gotten angry. Rick is an architect and WIFE is a lawyer who specializes in taking "hard luck cases" for the poor. As an architect, Rick has just about (has already?) signed off on doing a big big development that will bulldoze a large area of "suburban blight" area to make way for this new monolith. At about the same time, the denizens of this blighted area have approached the law firm of WIFE and asked her to represent them in fighting the group that want's to build Rick's monolith.

Rick, in this counselor's office with WIFE, just absolutely blows up (in a most controlled and politically correct way) when he speaks his mind saying that the wife should not be taking the case. Just as he finishes his very succinct tirade, he looks down, covers his mouth with his hand, and apologies for the outburst. He simply didn't want to recognize that he had that much anger buried and was surprised that it came out so forcefully.

Previously, we've seen Rick and WIFE work on what disputes that they've had in fairly low key ways throughout the show. There are differing opinions on raising the kids, there are differing opinions on just about everything. And throughout many of the previous arguments, WIFE has just plain come out the victor, using superior extemporaneous style, utilizing her lawyer oratory skills, and just plain acting a bit sharper. In this one moment, for what may have been the first time in their relationship, she is totally taken aback by this man that she thought of a such a loser.

I have recently lived through just such an event, although it was in an 'e-forum'. You see, I don't really deal well with confrontation in person. I'm not that fast on my feet with repartee, nor am I known for getting my thoughts organized well 'in the moment'. However, given a bit of time (and a good editor), I can whip up one hell of a response.

To cut a long story short, I was invited to a wedding of an ex-sister-in-law's son. The kid involved is cool, and has at least not actively come out against me, the kids, nor my new "EX" status. However, various elders of his (within the same generation as my EX) have banded together and drafted a lame letter to me telling me that the invitation is to be considered null and void "because it'd cause dissention if I [Roland] were to attend...leading to some folks just not showing up".

Now, I'm not saying that I had planned to go to this wedding previously, I'm not saying I'm going now, but this letter does peek my interest. Never mind the groom's own father and mother (my EX's sister) are divorced...and he's coming (but not liked by some of the family). Never mind the groom is probably a bit young to marry in the first place. Never mind my EX and her lesbian lover are probably both going to be in attendance (thus the situation between me and my EX will be talked about).

Oh the fuming.

Sadly, if I can froth so much over such a slight, I feel that the stupid TV show just might be right. I'm not really divorced just yet.

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