If the builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

The attention span of a computer is only as long as its electrical cord.

Any given program, when running, is obsolete.

A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as twenty men working twenty years make.

A complex program that works fine is invariably found to have evolved from a simple program that works.

If mathematically the computer ends up with the wrong answer, try multiplying by the line number.

Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable.

If you can't understand it, it is intuitively obvious.

The only reliable science is hindsight.

Write a program that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.

If a program works, something has gone wrong.

A three hundred dollar C.R.T. will protect a ten cent fuse by blowing first.

In any hierarchy each individual rises to his own level of incompetence and stays there.

If everything seems to be running well, you obviously don't know what the hell is going on.

If its not in the computer, it doesn't exist.

All's well that ends.

Acquired via email, author unknown.